kawan~

you know.. everyone has their own perspective about friends..

i've met some who dont believe in friendship.. he said they are your friends when you need them... or just to fit in... not to be outcasted...

some says, friends are important.. they are your strength when you are away from your family...

i think most of you know that i not friendly.. a loner i would say...

somehow last thursday i told one of my housemate how i see friendship...

i told her about my sweet ex best friend when i was form 2...

and how i lost my faith in friendship... pergh... such a strong statement...

okay, i havent lose my faith... but that incident makes me not interested in making friends anymore.... i would rather stay alone.. being a loner is better..

i dont have responsibility to maintain the relationship...

i only have ainun... and not planning to add another...

ktj is my first boarding school... ok, i'm considering myself as a boarding school student cause i dont go home on daily basis.. weekend je okay saya balik :D

after i finished telling her my stories, she gave one advice..

she said, she's open and she can accept my story but in the future, dont tell this to anyone..

cause they might take it as i'm saying i dont appreciate my friends.. like i dont need them...

you know what, from what she said i can feel like she's trying to say that i'm not a good friend...

ironically, ainun called me that night.. exactly after we hang up, amzar called me :)

seems like i still have friends... who remembers me.. and call me..

appreciate me.. that means, i'm not a lousy friend after all...

to be honest, i'm afraid of having friends as i'm afraid of losing them... that's the reason i dont wanna be very close to anyone here...

however, i was amazed how great some people here.. especially mira hana n madihah...

so.. to be continued :)