My journey in LSE ends here

Assalamualaikum :)

As the tittle of this post, I bet you already know what I am about to write for this post.

Some of you might be wondering why I have not been replying you texts, whatsapp, facebook messages, we chat and all other means of social media communication. Well, now you know why.

I don’t know how to break the news to you personally and I don’t want you to go through the awkwardness not knowing how to respond to the news after I tell you about it.

To be honest with you, it feels surreal, not to be able to continue for my third year.

Dulu, bukan setakat tak lulus, kalau tak dapat semua A pun dah meraung.

I was never an outstanding student in high school. I was never in the top 10 list except when I was in form 2 once, and another one for my trial SPM. Me, myself were surprised with those results. But when it comes to the real deal, Alhamdulillah, I manage to do just fine. Straight A’s for PMR, 10A 1B for SPM and A*AAA for A-level.

Before LSE, I was never a hard working student. If you were my roommate or at least my housemate, you would know. I never did my homework and for SPM, I didn't even do the past papers. I passed all the books of my past papers to Yanie and all of them were as clean as new. Nothing was written in it and it even looks like it has never been opened.

When it comes to examinations, it looks like I have been very lucky. Questions that came out have always been the exact one that I memorise. Honestly, I’m not kidding. I think the reason Allah has been giving me good grades because mama and ayah pray really hard for me. If I tell mama I’m really worried about my upcoming exams, both of them wouldn’t sleep the whole night. They will pray for me till morning. What can I say, I have amazing parents :D

mama bajet manja, lol

To be honest with you, I have never heard of LSE before KTJ. And it has never been my dream to study in one of the most prestigious university for Social Science. The only thing that I have ever wanted was to study abroad. Doesn’t matter which country as long as it is not Malaysia. Tapi kalau boleh, tak nak lah Singapore atau Indonesia. Saya nak yang jauh sikit. Just for clarification, it is not that I don’t like Malaysia; it is more about keeping the tradition. 

In KTJ, people make a big fuss about LSE. They look at LSE as the same level as Oxbridge. Okay, maybe a bit lower than Oxbridge. But for Accounting and Finance, LSE is the best in the UK as Oxbridge do not offer A&F.

When we were applying for universities, we were allowed to choose only 5 universities and for me, LSE was not one of them. I thought that it would be such a waste if I were to apply for LSE as I believed I had a very slim chance to get in. Baik mohon uni yang saya yakin boleh dapat. When people knew I was not planning to apply for LSE, I got this phrase a lot;

“ala, cuba je. Test kemampuan diri. Kalau dah dapat lepas tu tak nak, tolak je la”

Trust me, I got that a lot. So, I decided to give LSE a try. Plus, I see that there was no harm trying. 

Alhamdulillah, I got offers from all the universities that I applied to.

To be accepted into LSE itself was more like a miracle. I didn’t want to go there at first. I didn’t tell ayah about it cause I knew he really wants me to go there. Mama was the first person to know about it. Ayah knew about the offer a week later because abang or Yanie slipped their tongue. Ayah was a bit upset when I told him I didn’t want to go to LSE.

My concern was never about the syllabus or the course subjects. I was more concern about life in London. You know, a city life; hectic life. Then, I asked Kak Sarah about her life in LSE and it doesn’t sound so bad. I think I would be fine. Plus, when you are pleasing your parents, you are pleasing Allah :)

Oh, I’ve just checked the world ranking for LSE and apparently LSE is not really in a good position, number 68. Not bad at all if I were to compare it with Malaysian universities like UITM, 700++, lol. But, if you were to checked its rank course by course (e.g. Economics and Econometrics, Accounting and Finance, etc) LSE is not doing that bad. For A&F, LSE is second after Harvard. Even for Economics or employer satisfaction etcetera, LSE is always in the top 5.

Apa apa pun, after studying in LSE for 2 years, I have no regrets. I got the experience as a tutor in a local school, be the Public Relations Director for MACFIS, having dinner with corporate leaders, doing volunteering works, go to Bosnia, go to Ghana, travel to more than 15 countries (which I didn’t spend a penny for it except for Ghana and Bosnia), Dato’ Seri Johan Raslan knows my name and he even greeted me when he saw me at some of the past events, had lunch with CEO of CIMB Islamic Bank which I paid for it (including his meal), had an usrah group with 6 of the most wonderful people on earth, experience fundraising at tube station (tube collection) for Charity Week, being a member of flat 24, and many more. If I were to list them all, it would be an endless list.

Tapi yang pasti, perkara terbaik yang saya dapat semasa belajar di London adalah rakan rakan yang sememangny awesome! :)

tube collection with my buddy :)

volleyball practice for notts game which I didnt go, lol

walked 110 km for Mars Mira, one of the activities I did in Bosnia

they called me out of retirement, representing MACFIS

bersama Nabilah Karim :) masa ni dua2 masih belum gemuk, lol

family vacation, Barcelona 2013

family vacation, London 2012

family vacation, Andorra 2013

went to the local school to educate the kids on clean water, Ghana 2013

building water tank for my host family, Ghana 2013

vacation with the housemates, Istanbul 2013

post MACFIS BOD's dinner with Faiz Azmi

Flat 24 :) minus Ameenah

working on the corn farm, Bosnia 2012

When people asked me why I like to do charity, my answer has always been;

“My life has been a smooth sailing. I have such a beautiful life and I want to share it with others”

Now, I can’t really say my life is a smooth sailing but I believe whatever happens to me now is what’s best for me. Plus, Allah says;

Do people think that they will be let go merely by saying: “We believe,” and that they will not be tested

(29:2)

So, this is just one of the tests, a BIG one.

Atau mungkin saya akan berjumpa jodoh ke kat uni baru ni, lol

Now, my next step is to wait for PETRONAS’s official decision (they already have an unofficial one; not going back to London). Start as a first year student at Curtin University, Sarawak and for the meantime, I’ll be staying in London cause mama wants me to work in Malaysia but I don’t want to, lol.