My journey in LSE ends here

Assalamualaikum :)

As the tittle of this post, I bet you already know what I am about to write for this post.

Some of you might be wondering why I have not been replying you texts, whatsapp, facebook messages, we chat and all other means of social media communication. Well, now you know why.

I don’t know how to break the news to you personally and I don’t want you to go through the awkwardness not knowing how to respond to the news after I tell you about it.

To be honest with you, it feels surreal, not to be able to continue for my third year.

Dulu, bukan setakat tak lulus, kalau tak dapat semua A pun dah meraung.

I was never an outstanding student in high school. I was never in the top 10 list except when I was in form 2 once, and another one for my trial SPM. Me, myself were surprised with those results. But when it comes to the real deal, Alhamdulillah, I manage to do just fine. Straight A’s for PMR, 10A 1B for SPM and A*AAA for A-level.

Before LSE, I was never a hard working student. If you were my roommate or at least my housemate, you would know. I never did my homework and for SPM, I didn't even do the past papers. I passed all the books of my past papers to Yanie and all of them were as clean as new. Nothing was written in it and it even looks like it has never been opened.

When it comes to examinations, it looks like I have been very lucky. Questions that came out have always been the exact one that I memorise. Honestly, I’m not kidding. I think the reason Allah has been giving me good grades because mama and ayah pray really hard for me. If I tell mama I’m really worried about my upcoming exams, both of them wouldn’t sleep the whole night. They will pray for me till morning. What can I say, I have amazing parents :D

mama bajet manja, lol

To be honest with you, I have never heard of LSE before KTJ. And it has never been my dream to study in one of the most prestigious university for Social Science. The only thing that I have ever wanted was to study abroad. Doesn’t matter which country as long as it is not Malaysia. Tapi kalau boleh, tak nak lah Singapore atau Indonesia. Saya nak yang jauh sikit. Just for clarification, it is not that I don’t like Malaysia; it is more about keeping the tradition. 

In KTJ, people make a big fuss about LSE. They look at LSE as the same level as Oxbridge. Okay, maybe a bit lower than Oxbridge. But for Accounting and Finance, LSE is the best in the UK as Oxbridge do not offer A&F.

When we were applying for universities, we were allowed to choose only 5 universities and for me, LSE was not one of them. I thought that it would be such a waste if I were to apply for LSE as I believed I had a very slim chance to get in. Baik mohon uni yang saya yakin boleh dapat. When people knew I was not planning to apply for LSE, I got this phrase a lot;

“ala, cuba je. Test kemampuan diri. Kalau dah dapat lepas tu tak nak, tolak je la”

Trust me, I got that a lot. So, I decided to give LSE a try. Plus, I see that there was no harm trying. 

Alhamdulillah, I got offers from all the universities that I applied to.

To be accepted into LSE itself was more like a miracle. I didn’t want to go there at first. I didn’t tell ayah about it cause I knew he really wants me to go there. Mama was the first person to know about it. Ayah knew about the offer a week later because abang or Yanie slipped their tongue. Ayah was a bit upset when I told him I didn’t want to go to LSE.

My concern was never about the syllabus or the course subjects. I was more concern about life in London. You know, a city life; hectic life. Then, I asked Kak Sarah about her life in LSE and it doesn’t sound so bad. I think I would be fine. Plus, when you are pleasing your parents, you are pleasing Allah :)

Oh, I’ve just checked the world ranking for LSE and apparently LSE is not really in a good position, number 68. Not bad at all if I were to compare it with Malaysian universities like UITM, 700++, lol. But, if you were to checked its rank course by course (e.g. Economics and Econometrics, Accounting and Finance, etc) LSE is not doing that bad. For A&F, LSE is second after Harvard. Even for Economics or employer satisfaction etcetera, LSE is always in the top 5.

Apa apa pun, after studying in LSE for 2 years, I have no regrets. I got the experience as a tutor in a local school, be the Public Relations Director for MACFIS, having dinner with corporate leaders, doing volunteering works, go to Bosnia, go to Ghana, travel to more than 15 countries (which I didn’t spend a penny for it except for Ghana and Bosnia), Dato’ Seri Johan Raslan knows my name and he even greeted me when he saw me at some of the past events, had lunch with CEO of CIMB Islamic Bank which I paid for it (including his meal), had an usrah group with 6 of the most wonderful people on earth, experience fundraising at tube station (tube collection) for Charity Week, being a member of flat 24, and many more. If I were to list them all, it would be an endless list.

Tapi yang pasti, perkara terbaik yang saya dapat semasa belajar di London adalah rakan rakan yang sememangny awesome! :)

tube collection with my buddy :)

volleyball practice for notts game which I didnt go, lol

walked 110 km for Mars Mira, one of the activities I did in Bosnia

they called me out of retirement, representing MACFIS

bersama Nabilah Karim :) masa ni dua2 masih belum gemuk, lol

family vacation, Barcelona 2013

family vacation, London 2012

family vacation, Andorra 2013

went to the local school to educate the kids on clean water, Ghana 2013

building water tank for my host family, Ghana 2013

vacation with the housemates, Istanbul 2013

post MACFIS BOD's dinner with Faiz Azmi

Flat 24 :) minus Ameenah

working on the corn farm, Bosnia 2012

When people asked me why I like to do charity, my answer has always been;

“My life has been a smooth sailing. I have such a beautiful life and I want to share it with others”

Now, I can’t really say my life is a smooth sailing but I believe whatever happens to me now is what’s best for me. Plus, Allah says;

Do people think that they will be let go merely by saying: “We believe,” and that they will not be tested

(29:2)

So, this is just one of the tests, a BIG one.

Atau mungkin saya akan berjumpa jodoh ke kat uni baru ni, lol

Now, my next step is to wait for PETRONAS’s official decision (they already have an unofficial one; not going back to London). Start as a first year student at Curtin University, Sarawak and for the meantime, I’ll be staying in London cause mama wants me to work in Malaysia but I don’t want to, lol.

bullying and suicide

Assalamualaikum :)

apa khabar semua? :D

harap semua nya sihat dari semua segi, fizikal mental dan emosi :)

okay, di sini saya ada sedikit fakta nak kongsi.

dalam masa seminggu ni je, dah ada 4 orang yang mati kena langgar kereta api london underground di mana saya berperasangka mereka mereka itu bunuh diri.

sebab kalau bukan bunuh diri, mesti dah kecoh macam ada sekali ni, ada perempuan kena tolak dengan lelaki ni masa diaorang berdua tengah bergaduh. perempuan tu selamat je tapi satu london tau ada perempuan jatuh kat tube sebab kena tolak.

jadi, andaian saya berasas :)

jujurnya, saya faham je apa diaorang rasa..

duduk london memang stress. jujur tak tipu.

tahun lepas, bila saya rasa dapat keluar dari london je, saya rasa macam satu beban yang sangat berat hilang.

dan perasaan ketika di malaysia adalah yang terbaik! macam tak de beban langsung :DD

berbalik pada cerita mereka yang bunuh diri dengan terjun depan tube, saya yakin kami kami yang kat sini ramai je yang teringin buat perkara yang sama.. lebih lebih lagi sekarang, dah dekat dengan peperiksaan, sebab yang lagi kukuh untuk berasa stress dan solusi jangka pendek, terjun depan tube.

tapi kita tak buat macam tu.

alhamdulillah, kita di kurnia kan islam. inshaAllah, agama yang membimbing kita untuk jalani kehidupan seharian kita :)

and the only thing keeping me sane at the moment.

anyway, my point is that to be emotionally balance is really important. being physically fit and intellectually bright wouldn't mean anything if you are not emotionally healthy.

so, I saw someone tweeted about a video of a group of students bullying their friend.

I believe all of you have seen it. it's viral in facebook and even KJ tweeted about it.

in case if some of you haven't seen it, here is the video:

when I first watched it, I cried. I cannot help myself not to think that the poor kid might be my own brother or even my own son (if I have one).

just imagine what would their parents feel if they watch this video.

kyopropaganda did a parody on this issue and he wrote in the description of the video about how should we punished those who bullied their friends.

saya yakin dengan ada nya cerita juvana, kita tau tentang kewujudan sekolah kanak kanal nakal.

kyo ber tanya, ada kah dengan menghantar mereka ke sekolah juvana boleh menyelesaikan masalah?

jawapan saya:

okay, pada saya keadaan sekeliling sangat mempengaruhi personaliti dan identiti kita.

saya tidak rasa dengan mengumpulkan kanak kanak nakal ni dalam satu sekolah dapat membantu.

cuba bayangkan, awak nak mereka menjadi lebih baik tapi orang keliling mereka semua macam tu, kanak kanak nakal.

kalau awak tengok cerita juvana, mereka mereka kat situ mula berubah selepas Daim masuk.

dan Daim tu sebenarnya budak baik.


tapi kalau setakat membangkang tidak membawa apa apa makna kalau tak disertakan dengan cadangan :)

okay, mari kita ambik selangkah kebelakang lihat punca masalah ini.

kalau anda pernah pergi ISK (ini sejarah kita) mesti anda tau tentang 7 maratib amal.

jadi, marilah kita muhasabah diri, dan selepas tu tengok pada keluarga kita. settle kan dua perkara ni dulu baru kita tengok ke tahap seterusnya.

we need to educate the society about the importance of imposing good values in the family. family values.

kids from broken family tend to be rebellious.

workaholic parents tend to neglect their children and again, producing rebellious kids.

I believe that bullying and suicide share the same cause.

okay, sampai di sini sahaja ceramah saya :)

sila ingat, saya bukan penceramah bertauliah :) sekadar meluahkan pandangan, lol

akhir kata, jaga diri :)

cinta jangan pergi

Assalamualaikum :)

saya yakin anda semua boleh agak apa saya akan tulis bila baca tajuk post ni... lebih lebih lagi yang belajar di UK.. mesti awak awak semua fikir apa yang saya fikir..

jujur, saya dah macam agak lama tak ikut drama melayu.. tapi, hari tu saya ada pergi rumah fadia dan dia lah yang bercerita dengan semangatnya tentang cerita cinta jangan pergi ni..

kalau awak dah tengok, mesti awak perasan..

tiz zaqyah dan remy ishak sebut warwick sebagai wo-wick..

you just cant help not to notice.. serious, kak sarah and fadia rewind that part several times just to laugh again and again!

serious lawak

cuba bayangkan kalau konon konon diaorang tinggal kat bankside dan kena terangkan macam mana nak sampai bankside.. mesti diaorang akan kata station paling dekat adalah southwark dan diaorang akan sebut south-wark.. 

nasib baik tak, kalau ye jadi cerita komedi la nampak gayanya..

saya jujur tak de masalah dengan orang yang salah sebut nama nama tempat kat sini sebab saya sendiri pun bukan pandai sangat sebut semua dengan betul..

masa dekat ktj dulu, ada wakil dari university of loughborough datang promosi uni dia.. dia ada ajar kami cara sebut nama uni dia, luv-bra..

dia kata, english ni sebutan dia memang tak sama dengan ejaan..

jadi, tak de masalah kalau awak salah sebut..

yang membuatkan sangat lawak, awak belajar kat warwick tapi awak tak tau nak sebut nama tempat awak belajar? tak logik!

dan remy ishak, budak melayu kat sini tak tegur semua orang yang dia jumpa terutama sekali mat saleh yang dia jumpa depan pintu uni.. melainkan kalau mat saleh tu kawan dia la.. 

dan untuk menunjukkan lagi awak tu betul betul pelajar IC, biasanya budak IC tak cakap diaorang belajar kat imperial college, diaorang cuma kata diaorang belajar kat IC atau imperial je..

yang diaorang punya scene kat LSE tu, make sense.. sebab kat london ni, kitoarang boleh masuk library mana mana uni kat london..cuma pelajar warwick, saya tak pasti diaorang boleh buat LSE library card ke tak.. 

tapi saya jujur tak tau scene tu kat LSE bahagian mana

anyway, my point is, if you were to do something that will be broadcasted nationally please at least do some research.. 

in this particular case, try to actually live in warwick.. and remy ishak try to live the life as a student in london..

trust me, it's not that difficult.. seminggu pun cukup la..

saya ada terbaca tentang betapa tom cruise buat kajian tentang sejarah samurai dan siap belajar bahasa jepun lagi untuk cerita the last samurai..

you can read the article about it here

i didnt finish the drama.

okay, nak sambung belaja :)

pencuri

Assalamualaikum

maaf, kali ni tak ada senyum sebab saya sangat marah. marah yang teramat sangat.

jujurnya, saya dah pernah dengar tentang rasuah rasuah ni, dari sumber yang pertama lagi, mereka yang memberi rasuah itu sendiri.

after doing it for so many times, they become desensitise. they (I purposely do not want to use 'we') don't even feel what they're doing is wrong.

agaknya, macam tu jugak lah apa yang terjadi pada mereka mereka dalam video ni.

perkara yang sangat lah membuat saya marah, mereka kata orang Sarawak itu menumpang?!

how dare they say such thing?!

they are the thief!

you are the one who is stealing from the people of Sawarak. you are the one denying their right. and now you call them squatters?

I was once read a hadith in my phone saying something about Allah curse those who give or accept bribery.

Abdullah bin Amr (RA) narrated: Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) cursed the one who bribes and the one who takes bribe.

Abu Hurairah (RA) narrated: Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) cursed the one who bribes and the one who takes a bribe for judgement.

(Hadith No. 1336-1337, Chapters on Judgement, Jami’ At-Tirmidhi, Vol. 3)

saya yakin semua orang tau apa jadi kat bangladesh sekarang.. dan saya rasa sangat sedih.

negara yang penduduk nya hampir 90% orang islam, tapi pemimpin nya macam tu. terlampau dahagakan kuasa (baca: power hunger).

somehow, I feel malaysia is moving towards that direction, jika tidak dibendung.

kawan saya pernah kata,

"makin kita kejar duit tu, makin tak cukup kita rasa"

sangat betul. dan untuk peringatan pada diri sendiri jgak :)

footnote: tok cik dan embah baru meninggal kelmarin dan semalam. saya masih rasa terkejut sebab mereka pergi dengan mengejut. tolong sedekahkan al-fatihah pada mereka ye.

a guy in a pink pants, jogging, accident and snow

Assalamualaikum :)

untuk penulisan kali ni, saya nak kongsi perkara menarik yang berlaku pada saya hari ahad lepas :)

perkara pertama, saya ternampak seorang lelaki dalam tube perjalanan balik rumah memakai seluar pink! that was first time. kalau t shirt, mungkin macam dah biasa.

dulu saya selalu sangat teringin nak beli seluar warna pink tapi mama kata jangan sebab dia kata saya tak akan pakai.

petang tu, dhiya ajak saya jogging :) 

inilah kawan saya, dhiya comel :)

raihan pun teman sekali sebab nak main buaian

masa tengah jogging, saya nampak banyak sangat kereta polis dan ambulance lalu, siap jalan tutup lagi.

saya tertanya tanya, kenapa banyak sangat.. dah la depan rumah kitaorang je plak tu.. lepas tu, nampak bas nie dah lama kat situ tak bergerak.

saya pun dah fikir, eh, bas langgar orang ke? sebab serious, banyak sangat ambulance dan polis ni..

but i cannot be bothered to stop jogging and check. so, i continue jogging until i was too tired to jog. later, all of us went home.

so, this is the view of the scene from my room. seriously, it happened in front of my flat!

nak di buat cerita, ada kemalangan antara dua kereta dan kedua dua kereta kemek depan. tak de la sampai terbalik bagai macam dalam movie.

tapi, bomba, ambulance dan polis yang datang, macam ada kemalangan untuk paling kurang 10 kereta (kalau kat malaysia). serious tak tipu!

ada 3 kereta bomba yang besar. itu tak kira kereta kecik yang biasa. nak buat apa sampai 3 kereta bomba? 3 ambulance, okay that make sense.. we never know, there might be more people injured.

but the police cars, serious banyak.. paling kurang rasanya ada 8.. siap tutup jalan bagai.

mari saya ingatkan, kejadian ini adalah kemalangan antara dua kereta yang kemek depan.

tapi, yang saya sangat sangat nak puji (sebenarnya, semuanya pun pujian), mereka semua sampai kurang dari 5 minit selepas kejadian. hebat tak?!

malaysia, mungkin ini satu contoh yang mungkin boleh di ikuti :)

**********

semalam london turun salji. ramai yang merungut dan saya tak tertinggal.

sejuk, bil gas tinggi sebab pasang heater, susah nak gerak sebab sejuk dan macam macam lagi.

most of them complained about snowing in spring! some of my local friends told me, as far as she can remember, it never happened before. the latest snow would fall is in february.

so, i was going through the twitter and one of my friend tweeted about snow falling and wrote "Subhanallah".

okay afiqah, maybe you should see this thing in different perspective. tak rasa wow ke, salji pada bulan march?

vain

Assalamualaikum :)

hari ni saya nak share sikit.

tadi, lepas mengaji saya ada go through hadis hadis nabi dekat satu apps ni dan saya terjumpa hadis ni :)

fokus pada hadis ye :)

When I first read that hadith, I wonder what kind of vain Rasulullah SAW refer to. 

biasa kalau kita tengok orang amik gamba sendiri bajet ayu, dia akan tulis caption "vain". so, saya tertanya tanya, itu ke maksud Rasulullah SAW? jangan amik gamba sendiri (?)

dan seperti biasa, saya pun bertanya la pada merriam (Merriam-Webster) nie.. apakah masud vain itu mak cik merriam?

dan inilah jawapannya :)

if it is used as an adjective, it means worthless, useless and etc. I'm confident that you can read what is in the picture :)

so, kelebihan orang islam nie, kita akan tinggalkan perkara perkara vain la eyh? hurrrrrmmmmmmmmm...

macam kurang di realisasikan je.. ( awak awak jangan terasa tau sebab saya tak cakap tentang awak :) i'm talking about myself )

dan saya pun scroll lagi ke bawah sebab perkataan ni nampak macam ada banyak maksud :)

what vain means as a noun

bila baca selanjutnya, saya rasa macam, wow ahhh...

kalau kita betul betul amalkan apa Rasullullah SAW kata, kita memang akan wow ahhh..

so, perkara pertama yang saya perlu cuba tinggalkan adalah menonton drama melayu..

seriously, kat malaysia jangan harap nak tengok drama melayu.. tapi kat sini, dah macam orang mabuk drama.. serious ah, setiap malam tengok drama melayu, terutama yang ada Beto.. bukan dapat apa pun lepas tengok cerita cerita tu..

nak kata makin pandai, saya yakin tak sebab saya rasa kebanyakan drama melayu tak pandai..

makin dekat pada Tuhan, saya sangat pasti jawapannya tak.. drama melayu ni saya rasa boleh buat kita lagi confuse adalah.. contoh paling senang, ambik cerita setia hujung nyawa.. watak hero dengan heroin tu konon nya baik, tapi sebenarnya tak baik pun.. dikatakan alim tapi mengandung sebelum kahwin.. di katakan alim tapi pakai seksi.. if i were to list all the confusing characters in malay drama, it would be an endless list.

nak kata dapat ilmu dari drama drama tu, saya rasa sangatlah sikit kalau ada pun. itupun ilmu macam mana nak mengayat pasangan sebab cerita cerita melayu ni wajib cerita cinta. if the drama were about family business, the gist of the drama must be love. huh.. buat kita lebih menjadi mat jenin pun ada.

okay, point saya adalah, saya perlu meninggalkan perkara perkara vain ini :)

awak pun, kalau boleh cuba sama k :)

Have a nice day!

hustings

semalam saya pergi hustings.. kepada sesiapa yang tak tau apa itu hustings, sila rujuk gambar di bawah :)

it was really interesting to be honest. I can see that it's not just about popularity and it seems like everyone has their own agenda.

and that's why we need ISOC representatives in the SU :)

two years ago, we had an isocer in the SU and she managed to make sure LSE made it compulsory for no classes or lectures on friday from 1 till 2 in the afternoon for Jumaah prayer.

saya pergi dua hustings semalam. dan ada dua perkara menarik berlaku :)

saya masuk je bilik tu, saya ternampak seorang yang berambut biru dan reaksi spontan saya,

"anisah! tengok tu, ada orang rambut biru. woaaaaahhhhhhhh" 

dengan harapan meraka mereka di situ tak faham melayu.

sekali dia angkat je muka daripada memandang phone nya , dalam hati saya

"omeegee omeegee omeegee"

she is a malay! and I know her.

okay, actually she is a singaporean but she is a malay singaporean and i know, she can understand malay. i knew her from widening participation programme.

so, she smiled at me and I smiled back. like this :D

selepas tu, ada perkara menarik yang ke dua berlaku.

selepas MC panggil calon untuk LGBT officer, perempuan itu tampil kehadapan.

kalau kat sini, sangat biasa dengan terma LGBT tapi kalau anda di malaysia, mungkin tak pernah dengar kot sebab kat malaysia tak de benda benda ni (kot?) ..

LGBT = lesbian gay bisexual and transgender. kalau masih tak tau apa tu, google je la :)

so, a malay girl with blue hair and a very arabic name representing LGBT community in LSE? agak kelakar di situ sebenarnya saya rasa.

okay, itu je ceritanya :)

sekadar gambar perhiasan. the sisters!

beto :)

semalam saya cuba stalk beto khusyairi..

saya jumpa twitter dan instagram dia. dan saya sedih.

dia smoke.

saya comment kat gambar yang dia pegang rokok tu

"okay, @beto_khusyairi smoke.. sedih.."

hari ni saya bukak instagram dia, nak tengok kalau kalau ada peminat dia marah saya sebab tulis macam tu

instagram dia private. saya sedih.

internship

this post meant to be posted on the 6th of September 2012 :)

hari nie hari terakhir saya di PCSB Sabah... Petronas Carigali Sdn Bhd, salah satu subsidiary Petronas.. Hari ini, genap sebulan dan 6 hari saya di sini..

saya pernah kata dengan beberapa kawan saya nak share pengalaman saya kat sini.. jadi, elok lah saya mulakan hikayat saya :)

living here in Sabah, feels the same as if I live in London.. I'm not home and I live without mama ayah.. but, to look at the bright side of it, I have kakak with me :D

to do my internship here, mama spend for my flight tickets more than the allowance that petronas gave me ..

some of my friends asked me, why Sabah? do I need to do this? is it compulsory? and why only for a month? do I need the money?

just to make it clear, it's not compulsory for me to do any internship and no one told me to do it, neither Petronas, LSE or mama ayah.. i think it's the vibe studying in LSE, you feel like you must do everything.. if not, you are a total loser.. okay, mungkin dulu saya rasa macam tu.. sekarang, tak kesah apa pun.. next summer, nak duduk rumah je :D

alhamdulillah, saya diberi peluang untuk buat practical kat sini, sekali dengan raihan :) thanks to raihan and her dad, who helped me out to get a place here :)

the reason being why KK, because I dont want to work for two months or more and I'm in malaysia for less than 2 months! i want to spend more time at home, at least i wish to..

after spending a month here, it makes me more firm about my decision working with petronas in the future.. petronas itself, suits me..

I really like all my colleague, they are very generous in sharing their experiences and knowledge.. when I first started, I thought I'm just going to do some photocopy and watch korean drama all day long.. honestly, i felt a bit depressed not doing anything when i first started..

later on, our big boss start becoming more friendly to me and raihan.. he started to share his experiences in Sudan and his past experiences before he joined petronas.. to be honest, I learned a lot from his stories.. He is such a good boss..

one of the thing that I still remember until now is about a story where proton made a big lost due to a very small mistake.. the worker put a screw in the wrong direction which cause thousands of faulty cars.. he should have ask if he is not sure what to do.. so, the lesson learned is always be honest.. if you dont know, say you dont know.. you never know when your small mistake can become a very expensive one.. sebab tu kalau bos tanye, jangan tembak kalau tak tau.. terus terang cakap tak tau :)

sebab saya ada tembak je bila bos tanye soalan yang saya tak tau.. LOL

people started to give us work to do :) because we were annoyingly asking for a job LOL.. awal2 tu kan macam bosan sangat tak buat apa, kitaorang macam push sikit orang office bagi kerje.. dan alhamdulillah, encik bacho bagi kerje :DD a real work to do :)

it was fun at first.. after few days of doing the same thing, i felt bored.. we've been working on that thing for more than a week i think.. true that it dont require any expertise, but we need to be very meticulous so that we get the right figure at the end and so that we dont need to repeat the whole process..

throughout this internship, the thing that I learned the most is excel.. sometimes, I do feel embarrass with how noob i am with excel.. at least I learn something, alhamdulillah :)

(94:7)