bullying and suicide

Assalamualaikum :)

apa khabar semua? :D

harap semua nya sihat dari semua segi, fizikal mental dan emosi :)

okay, di sini saya ada sedikit fakta nak kongsi.

dalam masa seminggu ni je, dah ada 4 orang yang mati kena langgar kereta api london underground di mana saya berperasangka mereka mereka itu bunuh diri.

sebab kalau bukan bunuh diri, mesti dah kecoh macam ada sekali ni, ada perempuan kena tolak dengan lelaki ni masa diaorang berdua tengah bergaduh. perempuan tu selamat je tapi satu london tau ada perempuan jatuh kat tube sebab kena tolak.

jadi, andaian saya berasas :)

jujurnya, saya faham je apa diaorang rasa..

duduk london memang stress. jujur tak tipu.

tahun lepas, bila saya rasa dapat keluar dari london je, saya rasa macam satu beban yang sangat berat hilang.

dan perasaan ketika di malaysia adalah yang terbaik! macam tak de beban langsung :DD

berbalik pada cerita mereka yang bunuh diri dengan terjun depan tube, saya yakin kami kami yang kat sini ramai je yang teringin buat perkara yang sama.. lebih lebih lagi sekarang, dah dekat dengan peperiksaan, sebab yang lagi kukuh untuk berasa stress dan solusi jangka pendek, terjun depan tube.

tapi kita tak buat macam tu.

alhamdulillah, kita di kurnia kan islam. inshaAllah, agama yang membimbing kita untuk jalani kehidupan seharian kita :)

and the only thing keeping me sane at the moment.

anyway, my point is that to be emotionally balance is really important. being physically fit and intellectually bright wouldn't mean anything if you are not emotionally healthy.

so, I saw someone tweeted about a video of a group of students bullying their friend.

I believe all of you have seen it. it's viral in facebook and even KJ tweeted about it.

in case if some of you haven't seen it, here is the video:

when I first watched it, I cried. I cannot help myself not to think that the poor kid might be my own brother or even my own son (if I have one).

just imagine what would their parents feel if they watch this video.

kyopropaganda did a parody on this issue and he wrote in the description of the video about how should we punished those who bullied their friends.

saya yakin dengan ada nya cerita juvana, kita tau tentang kewujudan sekolah kanak kanal nakal.

kyo ber tanya, ada kah dengan menghantar mereka ke sekolah juvana boleh menyelesaikan masalah?

jawapan saya:

okay, pada saya keadaan sekeliling sangat mempengaruhi personaliti dan identiti kita.

saya tidak rasa dengan mengumpulkan kanak kanak nakal ni dalam satu sekolah dapat membantu.

cuba bayangkan, awak nak mereka menjadi lebih baik tapi orang keliling mereka semua macam tu, kanak kanak nakal.

kalau awak tengok cerita juvana, mereka mereka kat situ mula berubah selepas Daim masuk.

dan Daim tu sebenarnya budak baik.


tapi kalau setakat membangkang tidak membawa apa apa makna kalau tak disertakan dengan cadangan :)

okay, mari kita ambik selangkah kebelakang lihat punca masalah ini.

kalau anda pernah pergi ISK (ini sejarah kita) mesti anda tau tentang 7 maratib amal.

jadi, marilah kita muhasabah diri, dan selepas tu tengok pada keluarga kita. settle kan dua perkara ni dulu baru kita tengok ke tahap seterusnya.

we need to educate the society about the importance of imposing good values in the family. family values.

kids from broken family tend to be rebellious.

workaholic parents tend to neglect their children and again, producing rebellious kids.

I believe that bullying and suicide share the same cause.

okay, sampai di sini sahaja ceramah saya :)

sila ingat, saya bukan penceramah bertauliah :) sekadar meluahkan pandangan, lol

akhir kata, jaga diri :)

cinta jangan pergi

Assalamualaikum :)

saya yakin anda semua boleh agak apa saya akan tulis bila baca tajuk post ni... lebih lebih lagi yang belajar di UK.. mesti awak awak semua fikir apa yang saya fikir..

jujur, saya dah macam agak lama tak ikut drama melayu.. tapi, hari tu saya ada pergi rumah fadia dan dia lah yang bercerita dengan semangatnya tentang cerita cinta jangan pergi ni..

kalau awak dah tengok, mesti awak perasan..

tiz zaqyah dan remy ishak sebut warwick sebagai wo-wick..

you just cant help not to notice.. serious, kak sarah and fadia rewind that part several times just to laugh again and again!

serious lawak

cuba bayangkan kalau konon konon diaorang tinggal kat bankside dan kena terangkan macam mana nak sampai bankside.. mesti diaorang akan kata station paling dekat adalah southwark dan diaorang akan sebut south-wark.. 

nasib baik tak, kalau ye jadi cerita komedi la nampak gayanya..

saya jujur tak de masalah dengan orang yang salah sebut nama nama tempat kat sini sebab saya sendiri pun bukan pandai sangat sebut semua dengan betul..

masa dekat ktj dulu, ada wakil dari university of loughborough datang promosi uni dia.. dia ada ajar kami cara sebut nama uni dia, luv-bra..

dia kata, english ni sebutan dia memang tak sama dengan ejaan..

jadi, tak de masalah kalau awak salah sebut..

yang membuatkan sangat lawak, awak belajar kat warwick tapi awak tak tau nak sebut nama tempat awak belajar? tak logik!

dan remy ishak, budak melayu kat sini tak tegur semua orang yang dia jumpa terutama sekali mat saleh yang dia jumpa depan pintu uni.. melainkan kalau mat saleh tu kawan dia la.. 

dan untuk menunjukkan lagi awak tu betul betul pelajar IC, biasanya budak IC tak cakap diaorang belajar kat imperial college, diaorang cuma kata diaorang belajar kat IC atau imperial je..

yang diaorang punya scene kat LSE tu, make sense.. sebab kat london ni, kitoarang boleh masuk library mana mana uni kat london..cuma pelajar warwick, saya tak pasti diaorang boleh buat LSE library card ke tak.. 

tapi saya jujur tak tau scene tu kat LSE bahagian mana

anyway, my point is, if you were to do something that will be broadcasted nationally please at least do some research.. 

in this particular case, try to actually live in warwick.. and remy ishak try to live the life as a student in london..

trust me, it's not that difficult.. seminggu pun cukup la..

saya ada terbaca tentang betapa tom cruise buat kajian tentang sejarah samurai dan siap belajar bahasa jepun lagi untuk cerita the last samurai..

you can read the article about it here

i didnt finish the drama.

okay, nak sambung belaja :)

pencuri

Assalamualaikum

maaf, kali ni tak ada senyum sebab saya sangat marah. marah yang teramat sangat.

jujurnya, saya dah pernah dengar tentang rasuah rasuah ni, dari sumber yang pertama lagi, mereka yang memberi rasuah itu sendiri.

after doing it for so many times, they become desensitise. they (I purposely do not want to use 'we') don't even feel what they're doing is wrong.

agaknya, macam tu jugak lah apa yang terjadi pada mereka mereka dalam video ni.

perkara yang sangat lah membuat saya marah, mereka kata orang Sarawak itu menumpang?!

how dare they say such thing?!

they are the thief!

you are the one who is stealing from the people of Sawarak. you are the one denying their right. and now you call them squatters?

I was once read a hadith in my phone saying something about Allah curse those who give or accept bribery.

Abdullah bin Amr (RA) narrated: Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) cursed the one who bribes and the one who takes bribe.

Abu Hurairah (RA) narrated: Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) cursed the one who bribes and the one who takes a bribe for judgement.

(Hadith No. 1336-1337, Chapters on Judgement, Jami’ At-Tirmidhi, Vol. 3)

saya yakin semua orang tau apa jadi kat bangladesh sekarang.. dan saya rasa sangat sedih.

negara yang penduduk nya hampir 90% orang islam, tapi pemimpin nya macam tu. terlampau dahagakan kuasa (baca: power hunger).

somehow, I feel malaysia is moving towards that direction, jika tidak dibendung.

kawan saya pernah kata,

"makin kita kejar duit tu, makin tak cukup kita rasa"

sangat betul. dan untuk peringatan pada diri sendiri jgak :)

footnote: tok cik dan embah baru meninggal kelmarin dan semalam. saya masih rasa terkejut sebab mereka pergi dengan mengejut. tolong sedekahkan al-fatihah pada mereka ye.

a guy in a pink pants, jogging, accident and snow

Assalamualaikum :)

untuk penulisan kali ni, saya nak kongsi perkara menarik yang berlaku pada saya hari ahad lepas :)

perkara pertama, saya ternampak seorang lelaki dalam tube perjalanan balik rumah memakai seluar pink! that was first time. kalau t shirt, mungkin macam dah biasa.

dulu saya selalu sangat teringin nak beli seluar warna pink tapi mama kata jangan sebab dia kata saya tak akan pakai.

petang tu, dhiya ajak saya jogging :) 

inilah kawan saya, dhiya comel :)

raihan pun teman sekali sebab nak main buaian

masa tengah jogging, saya nampak banyak sangat kereta polis dan ambulance lalu, siap jalan tutup lagi.

saya tertanya tanya, kenapa banyak sangat.. dah la depan rumah kitaorang je plak tu.. lepas tu, nampak bas nie dah lama kat situ tak bergerak.

saya pun dah fikir, eh, bas langgar orang ke? sebab serious, banyak sangat ambulance dan polis ni..

but i cannot be bothered to stop jogging and check. so, i continue jogging until i was too tired to jog. later, all of us went home.

so, this is the view of the scene from my room. seriously, it happened in front of my flat!

nak di buat cerita, ada kemalangan antara dua kereta dan kedua dua kereta kemek depan. tak de la sampai terbalik bagai macam dalam movie.

tapi, bomba, ambulance dan polis yang datang, macam ada kemalangan untuk paling kurang 10 kereta (kalau kat malaysia). serious tak tipu!

ada 3 kereta bomba yang besar. itu tak kira kereta kecik yang biasa. nak buat apa sampai 3 kereta bomba? 3 ambulance, okay that make sense.. we never know, there might be more people injured.

but the police cars, serious banyak.. paling kurang rasanya ada 8.. siap tutup jalan bagai.

mari saya ingatkan, kejadian ini adalah kemalangan antara dua kereta yang kemek depan.

tapi, yang saya sangat sangat nak puji (sebenarnya, semuanya pun pujian), mereka semua sampai kurang dari 5 minit selepas kejadian. hebat tak?!

malaysia, mungkin ini satu contoh yang mungkin boleh di ikuti :)

**********

semalam london turun salji. ramai yang merungut dan saya tak tertinggal.

sejuk, bil gas tinggi sebab pasang heater, susah nak gerak sebab sejuk dan macam macam lagi.

most of them complained about snowing in spring! some of my local friends told me, as far as she can remember, it never happened before. the latest snow would fall is in february.

so, i was going through the twitter and one of my friend tweeted about snow falling and wrote "Subhanallah".

okay afiqah, maybe you should see this thing in different perspective. tak rasa wow ke, salji pada bulan march?

vain

Assalamualaikum :)

hari ni saya nak share sikit.

tadi, lepas mengaji saya ada go through hadis hadis nabi dekat satu apps ni dan saya terjumpa hadis ni :)

fokus pada hadis ye :)

When I first read that hadith, I wonder what kind of vain Rasulullah SAW refer to. 

biasa kalau kita tengok orang amik gamba sendiri bajet ayu, dia akan tulis caption "vain". so, saya tertanya tanya, itu ke maksud Rasulullah SAW? jangan amik gamba sendiri (?)

dan seperti biasa, saya pun bertanya la pada merriam (Merriam-Webster) nie.. apakah masud vain itu mak cik merriam?

dan inilah jawapannya :)

if it is used as an adjective, it means worthless, useless and etc. I'm confident that you can read what is in the picture :)

so, kelebihan orang islam nie, kita akan tinggalkan perkara perkara vain la eyh? hurrrrrmmmmmmmmm...

macam kurang di realisasikan je.. ( awak awak jangan terasa tau sebab saya tak cakap tentang awak :) i'm talking about myself )

dan saya pun scroll lagi ke bawah sebab perkataan ni nampak macam ada banyak maksud :)

what vain means as a noun

bila baca selanjutnya, saya rasa macam, wow ahhh...

kalau kita betul betul amalkan apa Rasullullah SAW kata, kita memang akan wow ahhh..

so, perkara pertama yang saya perlu cuba tinggalkan adalah menonton drama melayu..

seriously, kat malaysia jangan harap nak tengok drama melayu.. tapi kat sini, dah macam orang mabuk drama.. serious ah, setiap malam tengok drama melayu, terutama yang ada Beto.. bukan dapat apa pun lepas tengok cerita cerita tu..

nak kata makin pandai, saya yakin tak sebab saya rasa kebanyakan drama melayu tak pandai..

makin dekat pada Tuhan, saya sangat pasti jawapannya tak.. drama melayu ni saya rasa boleh buat kita lagi confuse adalah.. contoh paling senang, ambik cerita setia hujung nyawa.. watak hero dengan heroin tu konon nya baik, tapi sebenarnya tak baik pun.. dikatakan alim tapi mengandung sebelum kahwin.. di katakan alim tapi pakai seksi.. if i were to list all the confusing characters in malay drama, it would be an endless list.

nak kata dapat ilmu dari drama drama tu, saya rasa sangatlah sikit kalau ada pun. itupun ilmu macam mana nak mengayat pasangan sebab cerita cerita melayu ni wajib cerita cinta. if the drama were about family business, the gist of the drama must be love. huh.. buat kita lebih menjadi mat jenin pun ada.

okay, point saya adalah, saya perlu meninggalkan perkara perkara vain ini :)

awak pun, kalau boleh cuba sama k :)

Have a nice day!

hustings

semalam saya pergi hustings.. kepada sesiapa yang tak tau apa itu hustings, sila rujuk gambar di bawah :)

it was really interesting to be honest. I can see that it's not just about popularity and it seems like everyone has their own agenda.

and that's why we need ISOC representatives in the SU :)

two years ago, we had an isocer in the SU and she managed to make sure LSE made it compulsory for no classes or lectures on friday from 1 till 2 in the afternoon for Jumaah prayer.

saya pergi dua hustings semalam. dan ada dua perkara menarik berlaku :)

saya masuk je bilik tu, saya ternampak seorang yang berambut biru dan reaksi spontan saya,

"anisah! tengok tu, ada orang rambut biru. woaaaaahhhhhhhh" 

dengan harapan meraka mereka di situ tak faham melayu.

sekali dia angkat je muka daripada memandang phone nya , dalam hati saya

"omeegee omeegee omeegee"

she is a malay! and I know her.

okay, actually she is a singaporean but she is a malay singaporean and i know, she can understand malay. i knew her from widening participation programme.

so, she smiled at me and I smiled back. like this :D

selepas tu, ada perkara menarik yang ke dua berlaku.

selepas MC panggil calon untuk LGBT officer, perempuan itu tampil kehadapan.

kalau kat sini, sangat biasa dengan terma LGBT tapi kalau anda di malaysia, mungkin tak pernah dengar kot sebab kat malaysia tak de benda benda ni (kot?) ..

LGBT = lesbian gay bisexual and transgender. kalau masih tak tau apa tu, google je la :)

so, a malay girl with blue hair and a very arabic name representing LGBT community in LSE? agak kelakar di situ sebenarnya saya rasa.

okay, itu je ceritanya :)

sekadar gambar perhiasan. the sisters!

beto :)

semalam saya cuba stalk beto khusyairi..

saya jumpa twitter dan instagram dia. dan saya sedih.

dia smoke.

saya comment kat gambar yang dia pegang rokok tu

"okay, @beto_khusyairi smoke.. sedih.."

hari ni saya bukak instagram dia, nak tengok kalau kalau ada peminat dia marah saya sebab tulis macam tu

instagram dia private. saya sedih.

internship

this post meant to be posted on the 6th of September 2012 :)

hari nie hari terakhir saya di PCSB Sabah... Petronas Carigali Sdn Bhd, salah satu subsidiary Petronas.. Hari ini, genap sebulan dan 6 hari saya di sini..

saya pernah kata dengan beberapa kawan saya nak share pengalaman saya kat sini.. jadi, elok lah saya mulakan hikayat saya :)

living here in Sabah, feels the same as if I live in London.. I'm not home and I live without mama ayah.. but, to look at the bright side of it, I have kakak with me :D

to do my internship here, mama spend for my flight tickets more than the allowance that petronas gave me ..

some of my friends asked me, why Sabah? do I need to do this? is it compulsory? and why only for a month? do I need the money?

just to make it clear, it's not compulsory for me to do any internship and no one told me to do it, neither Petronas, LSE or mama ayah.. i think it's the vibe studying in LSE, you feel like you must do everything.. if not, you are a total loser.. okay, mungkin dulu saya rasa macam tu.. sekarang, tak kesah apa pun.. next summer, nak duduk rumah je :D

alhamdulillah, saya diberi peluang untuk buat practical kat sini, sekali dengan raihan :) thanks to raihan and her dad, who helped me out to get a place here :)

the reason being why KK, because I dont want to work for two months or more and I'm in malaysia for less than 2 months! i want to spend more time at home, at least i wish to..

after spending a month here, it makes me more firm about my decision working with petronas in the future.. petronas itself, suits me..

I really like all my colleague, they are very generous in sharing their experiences and knowledge.. when I first started, I thought I'm just going to do some photocopy and watch korean drama all day long.. honestly, i felt a bit depressed not doing anything when i first started..

later on, our big boss start becoming more friendly to me and raihan.. he started to share his experiences in Sudan and his past experiences before he joined petronas.. to be honest, I learned a lot from his stories.. He is such a good boss..

one of the thing that I still remember until now is about a story where proton made a big lost due to a very small mistake.. the worker put a screw in the wrong direction which cause thousands of faulty cars.. he should have ask if he is not sure what to do.. so, the lesson learned is always be honest.. if you dont know, say you dont know.. you never know when your small mistake can become a very expensive one.. sebab tu kalau bos tanye, jangan tembak kalau tak tau.. terus terang cakap tak tau :)

sebab saya ada tembak je bila bos tanye soalan yang saya tak tau.. LOL

people started to give us work to do :) because we were annoyingly asking for a job LOL.. awal2 tu kan macam bosan sangat tak buat apa, kitaorang macam push sikit orang office bagi kerje.. dan alhamdulillah, encik bacho bagi kerje :DD a real work to do :)

it was fun at first.. after few days of doing the same thing, i felt bored.. we've been working on that thing for more than a week i think.. true that it dont require any expertise, but we need to be very meticulous so that we get the right figure at the end and so that we dont need to repeat the whole process..

throughout this internship, the thing that I learned the most is excel.. sometimes, I do feel embarrass with how noob i am with excel.. at least I learn something, alhamdulillah :)

(94:7)

Bosnia : Mars Mira

saya perasan kan, saya nie makin lama makin malas nak menulis.. bila tengok betapa malasnye saya nak update blog nie, saya sangat pelik macam mana saya boleh ada blog at the firsr place.. tapi mungkin sebab life agak sibuk sikit dan saya sekarang selalu dengan family je.. lebih baek spend masa dengan diaorang dari sibuk karang blog, kan :)

semalam ada sorang kenalan, belajar kat Exeter kata dia tunggu saya post tentang Mars Mira.. dia nie lebih kurang macam pendorong untuk saya menulis post kali nie :) eh, macam nak tak nak je afiqah nie.. tapi memang nak share pun pengalaman mars mira :DD cuma pemalas nak tulis, bercerita saya suka! :)

sehari selepas mars mira, saya ada tulis pengalaman saya kat sana... time tu semua mende masih ingat, kan.. kalau tunggu lama2, nanti apa pun tak de.. saya nie kan pelupa..

dah tu, saya tulis semua pengalaman tu kat BB sebab senang nak type, keypad dia best :D tapi maklumlah, BB saya nie klasik, ntah zaman mana punye.. susah bebenar nak guna internet dia.. first2 guna wifi, dia kata tak bleh connect sebab tak de data plan.. then, tukar sim card yang ada data plan kat BB tu, pun tak bleh connect.. dia kata sebab tak de wifi.. pulak dahhhhh.. cuba punye cuba sampai dah malas nak cuba dan akhirnye tukar sim card yang memang sepatutnye untuk BB.. on je phone, BB hantar message kata "your handheld has been registered with the wireless network".. saya macam, woaaahhhh... dah dekat 3 ke 4 tahun pakai phone nie, tak pernah register dengan BB punye network rupanye, LOL

dan seterusnye saya hantar non-edited journal tu kat kenalan Exeter tu.. bila baca balik, rasa nak tutup muka pun ada.. segan..

grammartical error tu memang tak payah cite lah kan.. kadang2 tu bila saya baca balik, ayat dia banyak tak make sense.. hurrmmmmmm.. walaupun post nie saya dah edit, please dont expect for perfect english eyh :) english saya tak best pun.. saya pun kurang pasti kenape saya tulis dalam english.. mungkin sebab masa tu keadaan sekeliling semua cakap english kot.. saya pun macam terikut ikut..

okay, behenti membebel dan terus ke hikayat mars mira :)


Mars Mira

Day 1

Lucy asked us to be ready and leave the house by 5.30 in the morning and apparently she was just trying to be safe. She wants us to be ready 30 minutes earlier.. and Samir was trying being safe as well, she told Lucy 30 minutes earlier than the real time we need to start moving.. and Lucy add another 30 minutes before she told the volunteers.. can you see it? I was one hour early than I should be.. I waited for an hour for Samir and leave the house.. I was really pissed off to be honest..I woke up at 3.30 because I don't want to be late which could be a very useful sleep for me.. I slept less than 4 hours because Cawa and I was busy packing the night before..

Anyway, when we were about to start the march, we made a new bosnian brother, Mahmed.. He joined us from the beginning till the end.. He saved our life, which will be told in day 3 :D

point permulaan :) i know, i have a bizzare hat :P

It was tough since it was our first day.. But I didn't cry. So, okay laaa.. When we finished the trek of the first day, all of us felt like we can do more.. Plus, we got to the camp site so much ealier then last years' batch, even though we were the last group to finish it.. LOL

Btw, I fell before we manage to get to the camp site.. My ankle was a bit swollen.. Lucy gave me an anti swollen pill and apparently I'm allergic to it.. My eyes was swollen up to the extent I can't open my eyes.. It was really funny though.. I slept early that night cause I felt irritated with my eyes and plus, I felt ashmed to faced other people.. Seriously, I felt like, I looked really hideous..

Oh ya, I met some malaysian brothers.. There were 3 of them.. One of them was so handddssooommmeee :DDD I can't remember his name though.. He took a picture with me and he asked for my facebook :DD That night they were looking for me and the next morning as well but I just can't see anyone at that moment.. Because of my swollen eyes..

Day 2

Early in the morning the malaysian brothers were looking for me but I totally ignored them.. The reason being, I didn't look like me at all and I don't want to embarass myself in front of them..

taking picture with the locals.. they were very happy to have us with them :D

my group was far ahead in front... we had a rest and took some pictures! :)

Okay, now let's talk about the march shall we?  okay, this day is the best day ever! even though I cried most of the day.. Today is the killer! The trek was extremely extremely difficult.. Trust me, it really was.. I cried more than an hour without stopping and at the same time struggling to get out of the forest..

Since I was wearing a trainer and not my "expensive" boot, it was really difficult for me to walk down the hills especially on rocky ground.. So, what happened was, Ishfaq hold on to the back of my t shirt and I hold on to his bag.. Sit for a while and try to imagine that! I felt really uncomfortable to be honest.. I just wish to hold on to his bag and avoid direct contact.. but he just didn't let me because he worried that I may fall.. But I can't lie that I did feel safe cause I know I won't fall when he did that.. Every time I go down the hill on rocky ground, I always hope that Ishfaq would be behind me so that he can help me get through it..

Later on, we were in a forest.. It was tough.. I didn't refill my bottle before I get into it cause I thought there will be water available soon.. I only had one small normal mineral water bottle.. And I had to live with only that for more than 2 hours and not to forget I was climbing a hill with inclination of literally 85 degree.. Just imagine that!

I had my breakdown when I was extremely tired and when I look up, there were still so much to climb.. And I just sat for a moment and cried.. Shumon was there.. The moment he saw me crying, he said " afiqah, stop! Please don't! Hold on to my bag! (and he gave me his back)" and I said no, I can't do it anymore.. And he keep on saying hold on to his bag until I did.. And he pulled me up.. Amazing righttt :DD

Then, after like 5 minutes walk we saw Nora sit down.. Shumon stopped.. Maybe he was thinking to pull both of us.. Maybe.. That's more amazing! Few seconds after that Sharafath came and I just hold on to his bag.. And I keep on doing that until we get out of the forest.. And at the same time, I cried.. every single minute! LOL

Oh, I've been walking with Sharafath and Naba throughout the way and some other team member on and off.. Naba was such a strong girl, she didn't require any help from the guys.. And at the same time she was carrying a bag!

Oh, on our way out we had a rest with those who were at the front.. As soon as I sit, I almost fell asleep.. You know what, Marouf shouted "afiqah, don't fall asleep!! Naba, keep afiqah awake!" I genuinely felt touched how the group was very concern about me.. before we came we had a training saying that we cannot sleep when we are exhausted or dehydrated because we may not wake up again... peergghh, takut kot!

When I was almost out of the forest and saw some banner in bosanski with some word of dobro which means good, I was ....... Alhamdulillah :DDD I can't explain how happy I was and when I saw the water tank, I just can't wait to wet my throat.. I didn't care about the possibility that I may need to go to the loo cause I drank few bottles of water in one go..

After I had a rest for almost half an hour, I saw Lucy came out of the forest and I just cried.. She asked all of us to go to the nearest masjid to pray.. And I just cried.. I walked to the masjid with moazzam and he helped me to get there.. And again, I cried.. Moazzam offered to carry me, LOL!! and of course i didn't accept that offer! :)

After we had our lunch which I didn't have, I went home to asif and samira's house by car.. I genuinely cannot walk at all.. Oh ya, when I wanted to leave the masjid, Ishfaq called me and insist that I eat some sandwich.. Again, I felt touched.. When I told him I'm going home, he said some supportive words and he almost hug me but he didn't.. Ffuuhhhhh, legaaaa...

When I got home, I just sleep.. Sleep sleep and sleep.. Then I had a shower and few hours later, my other team mates came.. I'm glad nora and shumon are staying there.. Nora told me about Shareef.. He was just so amazing.. The part where I cried most of the time, Shareef were carrying 3 heavy bags.. Nora were pulled by Shumon and Shareef carried her bag.. Shareef also carried Sabiha's bag and trust me, I tried to lift it and it was heavy!

And you know what, after we get out of the forest, of course we would like to drink some water and have some rest.. But Shareef didn't.. He filled few bottles and ran back into the forest to give it to those left behind.. He is such an amazing guy..

That night, I was a bit upset because I didn't get my night pack.. I had to wear everything I had on me for the next day.. So, I borrowed samira and nora's t shirt...  anyway, with shumon around, you can never be sad and bored.. We had quiet a good night lying on the ground and watch the stars.. SubhanAllah, it was amazing.. we saw lots of stars and Emir taught us a bit of astronomy about how to read the stars.. it was a very calm night, just lying around, talk and relax.. and not to forget, Emir's mother served us two trays full of watermelon :D

Day 3

Since I stayed at Emir's house, it only took us less than five minutes to get to the starting point.. We were the first to arrive even though we were the last to leave the house.. We didn't even bother to go to the front and we were literally the last to leave the camp site.. I was in Ghaz group.. I don't know why, but my group must always be at the front :D

Shumon and I, we were waiting for the others

Lucy told us the first part of today gonna be really difficult and those who want to forfeit, please do so before we start.. None of us did.. Alhamdulillah, I didn't forfeit :)

I thought I'm gonna cry the whole day but apparently I didn't.. Yeah, it was difficult at first, but it was achievable..

Nothing much happened until we had our lunch break.. We stopped in front of a church and honestly, we didn't care at all about the church.. So, as usual Lucy would open the clinic while having a break.. And she needs her medical kits.. Wasim had it and he went to the loo.. Lucy send Ishfaq to look for him and Ishfaq was being himself, he ran to look  for him..

Ishfaq ran up hill to the church to look for Wasim and ran back when he couldn't find Wasim.. Ishfaq didn't realise the policemen called him.. So, the police thought that Ishfaq was running from them.. The police chased Ishfaq and all the drama started in front of the group..

Alhamdulillah we had Mahmed, our bosnian brother.. He translated for us.. The police are serbs and they like to pick on the muslims.. I didn't know the police was there cause I was sleeping and I covered my face with my hat..

After I heard Mahmed said they made a mistake, I instantly asked, what mistake and I raise my voice a bit.. I shouldn't say anything that might make the situation more intense.. Apparently it was because of inappropriate behaviour.. Some of us almost laugh tho.. You call running as inappropriate behaviour? You've got be kidding me..

The police asked for some document which Wasim didn't bring.. I can't describe everyone's feeling when he said he didn't bring his passport.. That was it.. They gonna go to jail..

The police said he should bring both of them to the station but Lucy tried to slow talk with them.. We said that we are not gonna come here again.. We will behave.. Etc etc..

Alhamdulillah, we got away.. We straight away move to find another spot to sit down.. After few minute later, the police came to us and tried to pick on us, again -.-' He said we were wasting their time because we were the last group and they were just waiting for us to clear.. Plus, Ishfaq and Wasim were suspects.. I just wanna say, "whatever!" to the policemen..

The rest of the journey was okay.. Not so much of drama..

Since this is the last day, some of the volunteers had problems with their leg and feet.. Nishat was walking with flip flop because she had blisters all over her feet.. Just imagine that! The bottom part of your feet full of blisters.. So, what she did was, she wrapped her feet and the flip flop with gaffer tape.. I can see that it was really painful for her to finish the trek but she did it!

Nassima had problem with her leg and feet as well.. I'm not really sure what was it but it was really difficult for her to walk.. I wanted to carry her but she didn't let me.. She thinks I was crazy.. LOL

There were some cars stop by and offerred them a lift but they want to finish it.. It was really emotional moment when we heard the adhan for maghrib with the view of Potacari in front of us.. it signifies that we are DONE! :D

this is Potacari..Memorial place for those who were killed during the war, they are buried here..

group photo after we reached Potacari.. can you see the man with yellow shirt at the most left? Lucy said, it happens every year.. every time we take group photo, there must be random guy come in.. LOL

3 days of walking trying to experience what the refugees went through.. No matter how hard we felt it was, the real Mars Mira was harder..

My host told me that the only thing they ate was whatever they can find in the jungle.. Snails, leaves, snakes etc.. And there was 15 thousands of them.. With the Serbs army were hunting and wanted to kill them.. And lots of them died due to fatigue and when they wake up from a nap, most of them hallucinated because they were too exhausted..

While walking, I saw few people that I never thought can do the march go passed me.. One of them was a very old man with holding a normal groceries plastic bag filled with food, a sleeveless shirt and a very normal trek bottom.. And not to forget, he was barefoot.. He was faster than me.. AMAZING!

I also saw a lady with crutches.. I cannot imagine how she climbed the hill and walk through the stony ground..

saya rasa nie post terpanjang saya pernah tulis.. sebab tinggal edit je pun, bukan tulis dari scratch.. yang post pertama tu pendek sebab kena tulis dari kosong sampai lah jadi macam tu.. sebab tu dia sangat ringkas tapi tak padat.. saya harap post kali nie cukup untuk cover ketidak lengkapan post sebelum nie..

thanks sebab baca!

Assalamualaikum :)

bosnia

hari nie dah 17 august, genap sebulan sejak saya balik dari Bosnia..  Baru sekarang rasa macam nak tulis :)

Hari tu orang Utusan email, mintak saya tulis pengalaman dan bagi sekali gambar-gambar saya kat sana untuk diaorang tulis kat surat khabar diaorang.. kat UK plak, saya mausk TV Islam Channel :) baru tadi dapat email dari orang MADE untuk saya isi borang mintak Islam Channel bagi DVD rakaman yang saya keluar TV tu.. 

i dont know what should i feel. only one word i can think of, for all the feelings that i have about it, alhamdulillah :) alhamdulillah that i'm given the opportunity to do whatever i've done.. to be given the courage to do whatever i did.. and to even have the thought of doing it :)

okay, now lets start about my journey :)

oh, just so you know this programme is under MADE in Europe and I'm the only non-british in the group.. :DD

first of all i want to apologise if you feel annoyed reading manglish because i dont think i can write everything in one language. i believe that certain things are better expressed in english and some in malay.. please bear with me :)

oh, the pictures here belongs to other volunteers.. credit to moazzam and shareef :)

hikayatnye bermula begini....

okay, cubaan pertama saya nak pergi ke bosnia adalah untuk sampai ke airport -.-'

tak sampai pun lagi airport, dah kena cobaan.. LOL

bayangkan saya bawak camping bag merah saya yang teramat sangtlah besar itu dengan bag laptop saya yang warna pink tu.. nie yang karimor pink, bukan merah tu.. so, depan belakang ada bag yang total beratnye saya rasa lebih 20 kg.. sudah pasti menjadi perhatian kan!

okay, disebabkan saya nie sangatlah tak organised orangnye, saya lambat.. dah tu, saya decide nak naek teksi ke victoria station.. lepas tu, area whitechapel nie sungguhlah susah nak dapatkan teksi.. nak call addison lee (syarikat teksi) takut diaorang lambat plak, tak sempat.. tunggu punye tunggu, alhamdulillah akhirnye ada teksi lalu :)

alhamdulillah, akhirnye saya sampai airport on time dan siap sampai awal lagi :DD tapi kena beli tiket train baru sebab terlepas train yang saya sepatutnye naek untuk ke airport... haha

kami transit di Zagreb untuk setengah jam sebelum sampai ke Sarajevo.. alhamdulillah, kami sampai dalam pukul 9 rasanye.. tak pasti pukul berapa tapi yang pasti dah malam.. tak banyak sangat yang saya nampak masa tu sebab dah gelap kan..

obviously this picture wasnt taken at night.. this is the picture of first group, they arrived earlier.. and i was in the second group  :)

we were at Sarajevo for two days before we were sent to our respective host family in Republika Srpsk.. 

the first thing i saw when i get out of our accommodation hostel was houses with bullet holes.. it felt surreal.. just imagine, they live in place that hold lots of memories of the war.. what do they feel when they see the bullet holes and abandoned houses that was bombed during the war? it's like they are constantly reminded about the war.. the nightmare keep on haunting them..

Next we went to Sarajevo tunnel of hope.. it was AMAZING! the tunnel was built under the airport during the war that was used to transport food people weapons and anything, you name it! it is so small with a width of 1 meter and i think i need to bend a bit to walk in it.. i found a video about the tunnel, please have a look :) 

we went to the museum as well.. it feels so sad to see the food they had during the war.. just imagine, america gave them leftover food from the vietnam war which was like more than 40 years before the war in Sarajevo.. there was a soldier that served Bosniak people during the war to tell us the stories.. he said, some of their foods were so bad that when a cat came near to it, the cat ran away.. just imagine, even animal cant eat it, for them it was a treasure.. they need to eat to survive.. 

actually i have more amazing stories about the tunnel that the ex soldier shared with us.. but i dont think i should write them here.. this post will be too long then.. if you want to know more, let me know and i'll tell you personally :)

What a typical mine would like like. There was approx 2,000,000 mines in Bosnia. They have disarmed the majority of them with 200,000 remaining (copied from moazzam's description of the photo)

group photo with the ex soldier, he's the one in the middle..

 after we were done with the tunnel, next destination is Sarajevo!

the city is clean and the buildings have awesome architecture :) they have lots of mosque and it was easy to eat, most of the foods are halal :) oh, the day before we came back to london, i had ice cream every hour! :) i love their ice cream and it was so cheap :DD

Sarajevo has lots of beautiful masjid like, seriously they are very beautiful... but i dont know why all the masjid are locked.. so, people pray outside and the normality of masjid where man pray in front and the women pray at the back dont work at their masjid.. maybe that system works when they pray IN the masjid..

enough with words, enjoy the pictures!

that's bosnian flag

we used all public transports Sarajevo has to offer :)

lepas dah habis menjelajah kota sarajevo, kami pun bertolak ke potacari pada hari ke 3.. alhamdulillah, my host is quiet well off.. they have a very beautiful house and a big farm.. you can see that i tried to help with the cow :D

i'm trying to help out, cleaning the barn :)

whenever i had the chance, i went to the farm to help out a bit.. even though it wasnt much, at least i get to experience a farm life :)

i can assure you, farming really is a hard work.. we only eat fresh vegetables that we pick from the farm :) raspberries, tomato, paprika, cucumber, pumpkin etc...

nak tau sesuatu tak? tomato dalam bahasa bosnia paradise... LOL rasanye timun dalam bahasa diaorang pun macam kelakar jgak, tapi tak ingat... nanti saya ingat saya tulis ye :)

you can see from the picture below that bosnia has a very beautiful scenery :) they have lots of untouched forests and clean air as well.. i know, you can even get that at any outskirt malaysia :D the fact that it's in europe, it makes all the difference, i guess so :)

our last day at potacari :)

somehow, i feel Bosnia is almost like malaysia.. the weather... the mountains.. the pace of life.. except for their language and their people.. because i always feel that malaysians are the best! :)

insyaAllah i will make another post specifically on Mars Mira, where my team walked for 110 km from Tusla to Sebrenica to experience what the refugees went through during the war to save their life.. i can say for sure, the real mars mira was so much harder than what we went through.. and what we went through was hard enough for me..

i know i wrote a very brief story about my stay in Potacari with my host family.. it's just that i'm not really in the mood to write about it.. if you want to know about it, please let me know and i'll tell you personally :D

owh, malam nie flight saya balik rumah dari sabah.. doakan semua berjalan lancar ye :)

kepada anda yang baca blog nie, terima kasih sebab luagkan masa untuk penulisan saya :)


Have a nice day!

so.. to be continued :)