life is not a fairy tale

is it possible to have a fairy tale life?

hurrrmmmm... i would answer yes to that question. but it stops after you get into boarding school :D

why boarding school?

because you cant do anything about things or person that you dont like.

okay, example. you have a very small study table and every time you want to study, you have to study on your bed cause obviously you need space. if you are living in boarding house, there's nothing you can do about the study table. in my boarding house, you cant even move the table even a bit. if you are at home, you can buy a bigger table. you can arrange the table wherever you want. do you get my point?

next example, imagine you met someone with an attitude that you dont like. if you are schooling at daily school, you can stay away from that person. even if you guys are classmate, you are not necessarily have to spend time with that person. but if you live in boarding school, you dont have a choice. you have to mingle with him/her. to make it worse, that person live in the same house as you. and even worse if that person is your roommate. hypothetically :D

(jujur, hanye sebagai contoh dan bukan keadaan sebenar)

i've been living a fairy tale. jujur tak tipu. when i had a fight, it didnt last long. if i dont like someone, i'm not close to that person. mama once told me. dont hate anyone. if you dont like someone, try to make yourself like him/her. if you have try your very best to like that person, but still tak bleh, then stay away from him/her. i never really hate someone. basically because mama dont allow me to. cause mama said, if i hate someone, i'm the one being hurt, not the person hate. tak patut kan?

i'm sick of myself. keep on saying bad things about someone.

what make you tell stories?

of course because you know things. you know what happen.

how do you know?

because that person live close to you, right?

why dont you keep a distance?

daaaa... obviously because i cant.

everyone has a choice. you can change house perhaps.

i dont want to let go what i have here. i like my life here.

so, stop complaining. afiqah, remember the values you have been holding on. dont lose yourself. this is not you.

i know for sure you dont like to be someone who always say bad things about others.

i know you wont let anyone stop you from being happy.

i know you dont hold grudge.

(this is not really afiqah. she's still trying to be the afiqah as i mentioned above)

ok, from now on, i will stop whatever bad things i've been doing. i'll be more positive.

i'll start be nice after i finish this post. so, before i end it i wanna say something not so nice.

it goes to whoever read this (itupun kalau blog nie ada readers).

kita hidup kat dunia nie bukan seorang. kalau boleh hidup sorang-sorang, saya pasti ramai yang nak. but that's not an option. jadi diri sendiri itu memang yang terbaik. dan orang lain seharusnye terima seseorang itu seadanya. terima kekurangan dan kelebihan seseorang. tapi, bila ramai orang tak boleh terima kita bila kita rasa kita jadi diri kita yang sebenar, saya rasa maksudnye ada sesuatu tentang kita yang tak kena. kalau seorang je yang tak suka kita, mungkin orang tu yang bermasalah. tapi kalau ramai, mungkin tiba masa untuk kita fikir balik mungkin silap tu pada kita. tak salah untuk rasa kita mungkin silap. tak teruk pun kalau rasa kita silap. ego tu elok, untuk jaga maruah. tapi kalau terlalu ego, tu dah jadi perkara negatif.

saya pasti ramai pernah tengok cerita kabhi kushi kabhi gham. ada sesuatu yang menarik saya amik dari cerita tu. ada satu scene nie dia kata : meminta maaf tak bermaksud anda kalah atau salah. itu menunjukkan anda cukup rendah diri mengakui kesilapan. dan orang yang memaafkan mempunyai hati yang mulia.

point saya dari cerita kat atas, teguran tak bermaksud anda salah. ia sekadar pertolongan dari orang laen untuk membantu anda menjadi orang yang lebih baek. dan anda yang menerima teguran dengan baek adalah cukup rendah diri untuk menerima kekurangan diri. pada saya, agak bongkak untuk anda kata, anda tak boleh terima orang tegur anda. tak boleh terima orang cakap mende tak elok tentang anda. tak boleh terima orang beri pandangan tentang apa anda buat. mungkin kalau betul anda memang tak boleh terima, saya rasa tak perlu luahkan. sekadar dengar teguran dan pandangan tersebut dan amik mende tu sebagai angin lalu. kalau orang tengah beri pandangan dan ada berhentikan dia sebelum dia sempat habiskan ayat pertama dia. dan anda cakap pulak macam saya tulis di atas tentang betapa anda tak boleh terima teguran, itu menimbulkan prasangka.

ok, mungkin silap orang tu untuk ada prasangka. tapi, logiknye, susah untuk dia rasa anda nie rendah diri bila anda berkata demikian.

ok. dah habis tulis teguran2 yang dalam masa yang sama, berguna untuk saya.

i'll try my best to be good :D

so.. to be continued :)